You Found Me - The Fray
6/27/2008
It’s a golden sunny day. Brightly colors objects swirl around us. There is magic shimmering in the air.
I’m a hardy traveler: I’m still excited to be here. I’m giddy like a child. I just want to run around with my arms wide and try to catch it all, to let it all soak in. I want to meet everybody—each of the princesses, and especially everyone of the princes—and do everything else there is to do: eat all the eats, ride all the rides, and see all the acts.
But, no one else wants to.
12:37 PM- It has been an enjoyable trip so far, however today is the last day of six. Everybody is a little sick, a little heat stroked, and a little exhausted—not to mention a little tired of each other. Maria has a migraine and refuses to take medicine. Kari won’t stop complaining about the pain in her delicate little feet. Daniel keeps getting frustrated with the massive peak-season crowds surrounding us. Everyone is hungry and cranky.
As we look around, we see shops, food stands and tables. The group makes an executive order: we are stopping and lounging in these chairs for a couple of hours.
My heart drops like a boulder in an avalanche. I refuse take this blasphemy: I am at Walt Disney World and will feel like I am at the happiest place on Earth. Desperately, I search for a getaway plan. In a few minutes one comes to mind.
12:49 PM-“Oh hey, guys, I see Matt and Shannon! I’m gonna go hang out with them for a while,” I lie. In actuality, I see no one; I just can’t wait to be free of the dreariness.
“Okay, sure,” they reply, knowing that I love this place and am still itching to explore.
“Well, I’ll meet all of you back here in two hours. Three o’clock, sound good?”
“Okay, have fun! Be careful on your way over there: remember there were reports of a pair of child molester roaming around. See you at three!”
“Psh whatever, I’ll be fine. Bye!” I exclaim and hurriedly dash away, making my great escape. In the excitement of the moment, little do I realize I have once again left my purse behind, as I so often do.
1:24 PM- I am in absolute bliss. I attempt to capture every memory with the camera which is ever-attached at my wrist. A beautiful butterfly swoops right by my face; I have got to get the perfect picture. Mesmerized, I follow bright yellows and oranges of the gracefully sashaying creature, diving deeper and deeper into my own world of oblivion. “It [is] lovely and beautiful to walk through the world like this, childlike and fully awake, open to what is near and without mistrust.” (Sid page 46) Oh look! I’ve just spotted Pocahontas. I have to get a picture with her.
3:28 PM- This freedom was exactly what I wished for. I watched the Beauty and the Beast production, got pictures with Pocahontas and Aladdin, and rode Splash Mountain. However, now it is time to feed my begging stomach. As I start searching for my cell phone to check the time, my stomach sinks as I come to a sick realization: I left my purse on the bench with my friends. My purse with all my money, and cell phone, which was low on battery. I have no way of contacting them. Oh no. I steal a glance at a passerby’s watch: it’s 3:30. Oh no! I start sprinting in the direction I thought I left them.
Meanwhile…
2:30 PM- Kari, Maria, Daniel and the rest of the group are relaxing at the benches.
“Let’s give Kajal a call and see what they’re up to. Maybe we could meet them,” suggests Daniel as he dials my number. Startled, they hear my familiar ringtone, which cuts off mid-way.
“Oh God. She left her purse again.”
Checking my purse, they realize my phone is dead.
“She would leave her purse and her phone low on battery. It’s okay, let’s just call Matt,” says Daniel in his clear, level-headed ways.
It is not long before they come to the realization that I never made it to hang out with Matt and Shannon. A panic session ensues, however they decide to at least wait until three in hopes that I will show up.
3:14 PM- “What is going on?!? She’s never late! Where is she?” Maria cries in distress.
Her and Kari’s eyes become the size of saucers as they share a look of tacit understanding.
Kari moans, “Oh My GOD! The child molesters kidnapped her!”
3:20 PM- After waiting around for a few more minutes, the group leaves in order to began their. Frantically, they strain their eyes to see as far as possible, looking for any glimpse. After having no luck, they soon began asking the small shop owners.
Daniel began the questioning: “Umm…have you seen a girl by herself? She’s Indian: black hair, brown skin. Average height..Gosh, how do I explain who she is?!”
“Well, I’m sorry sir,” replied the glass art shop employee. “This weekend, the International South Asian Association is actually visiting the parks, so there have been a lot of guests who fit that description.”
As the group looked around in dismay, they realized there were, in fact, more heads of black hair than in an average population.
3:43 PM- Kari, Maria, Daniel and the others put their heads together.
“If you were Kajal, where would you be?”
“Well, she does love food. We should check any restaurant that we see.”
“She loves the color green? And astronomy…? And the band Coldplay..?
“Right. Like that helps.”
“Well, that’s who she is.”
“Not really. That’s just what she likes.”
“How are we supposed to explain who she is, then?
Around the same time…
3:47 PM- I am running around searching for the benches I left my dear friends at, cursing my naiveté. Why did I think I could just run off? And how in the world could I forget my purse? Seriously?
I gasp for air. Distressed, I look as far as my sight stretches. It is dizzying—everything suddenly looks the same. There are restaurants everywhere, there are shops everywhere, there are benches everywhere! The world spins around and around as I run in futile circles.
Where am I?! Who am I to be stupid enough to get lost?
Okay, calm down.
I think for a minute and as I am walking and looking, began taking pictures of the places I pass, in order to remember where I have already looked.
Well, it’s not like you’re going to find them right now. Hopefully, you’ll run into them somewhere. You should try to enjoy this while you can.
3:56 PM- As a parade passes by, I try to clap along and enjoy the music and wacky cars filled with Disney characters, as all of the chortling little children mobbing around me are, but it is impossible. I just want to be with my friends. I miss them. I can’t do this alone anymore.
Perhaps you could go to the front desk where the missing children go?
No! I refuse to do that. It would be humiliating to walk up to the front desk and say, “Hi, I’m lost. Yes, I’m seventeen.”
It would be the smart thing to do.
Whatever. My friends know me and would never look there anyways. I’m old enough to take care of myself. I’ll be alright.
My stomach growls, voicing its disapproval.
I find myself shivering as a cool breeze blows in, followed by drops of water. Rain—great.
4:00 PM- I’m cold, starving, and soaked to my core. I just want to eat, be warm, and with my friends.
There are screaming children everywhere running to take cover in the shops. And then I see it: there’s an unmanned pizza cart! It’s utter chaos right now—no one would notice if I just swiped a couple of slices. I haven’t eaten since eight in the morning. I’m just so hungry, and it’s so close. Besides, I’ve paid enough to get in to this darn place of happiness.
I casually walk towards the pizza stand, and stealthily reach out with my arm. I reach, reach, reach…
But it doesn’t happen.
I can’t allow myself to take it.
Why can’t you just take it, you wuss?
I don’t know, that’s just who I am.
On the other side…
5:00 PM- The search continues. My friends dart from store to store, craning their necks, and asking workers.
“Our friend, she’s been lost for a few hours…she’s Indian, umm she loves music.”
“Try the Philharmonic Show theater.”
It was a fruitless search as they could not explain who, out of the thousands of people, they were looking for.
“Should we go to the front desk where the lost kids go?”
“No, she’s too stubborn to go there.”
Back to my starving, shivering self, still hiding from the mighty thunderstorm…
7:30 PM- I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I can’t do this anymore. What if I’m stuck here forever? What was the last thing I said to my friends?
“Psh. Whatever. I’ll be fine.” It echoed through my mind.
Oh goodness, there are child molesters out.
I look around me, and every face seems so evil. They are all sneering, these menacing people, all obviously coming to get me. My heaven has turned into hell.
8:00 PM- The rain has stopped. Both parties continue listlessly wandering around.
9:00 PM- I decide to go to the place that I’ve admired since my toddler years; the Cinderella’s Castle is the symbol of my dreams and comforts me—maybe I’ll find some peace there.
Slowly, I make my way to the castle. I nestle into a little corner of the castle walkway and doze off.
9:45 PM- I am shaken awake—by God himself. It’s Mickey Mouse!
“Excuse me, ma’am, are you okay? There’s a show about to go on. Who are you?” he inquired as he lent me a hand.
“I..I’m happy!”
******
Today, I was looking through my pictures and I came upon my "Lost in Disney!" album. It has been almost a year, yet as I flip through the photos, each moment comes rushing back to me. The sights, the sounds, the happiness, the fears.
I wonder to myself, "How did I let this happen? What would I do differently now, after having lived at UT for a year?"
More than ever I would try to follow happiness. I would not be so scared, or too shy to ask for help. But I have not changed monumentally: I still have my same code of ethics. I probably still would have not taken the pizza and starved.
Now, by myself for real, I have become more aware of myself and my capabilities. I know to watch out, because I most likely will forget my purse. But I also know that I cannot do it alone, and the world is not full of monsters. The world is filled with Mickeys: friends, family, peace, love, and happiness. Our life is what we make of it. We are what we do and love; it is difficult for us to define ourselves any other way. In that case, I am still finding what I enjoy doing, I am still finding what I love, and will be discovering new loves for the rest of my life
. Who am I? I will never be able to tell you.
Word count: 1874
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