To be or not be...

Just like everybody else, I too, have questioned the meaning of life: Where did we/life come from? What sustains the universe? What happens after we die? Is there an afterlife?

Over the last month particularly, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about life and death (I know, I sound rather emo). When my uncle was diagnosed with cancer 2 ½ years ago, he was given 6 months to live. Death was coming – it was inevitable. I mean, it could happen to any of us at any time, but it’s strange knowing that death is doubtlessly creeping closer. We sat with him while he was in a comatose state for two days– what was going on inside of him? Could he hear, could he think? Then on that third day, while we were gathered around singing prayers and godly remembrances, his breathing sped up and soon he took his last. Just like that. Such a simple ending. Did I witness the moment a soul departed from a body? Did it just gracefully flit out the window, or does it dissolve into the air? “Derives it not from what we have the likest God within the soul?” (Tennyson LV).

That day, that scene, that inevitable moment, will stay with me forever. It is such a marked day for me. January 3, 2009. But the thing is…this happens ALL the time. Death has been happening for billions of years and will hopefully continue to do so for billions more. And think of all the life that has been. I wonder how many lives have been lived, from the first bacteria in mega-billion B.C., to the last human born 2 seconds ago. Like Tennyson, I hope “That not a worn is cloven in vain; That not a moth with vain desire is shrivell’d in a fruitless fire”(Tennyson LIV). I mean, God has a lot of lives to worry about. How can one..thing/being?..take care of it all? And then, there are the questions of why a God who cares would allow such pain and misery come to those He loves.

However, I look down at my hands and think of the millions of utterly complex cells functioning in perfect harmony together. I see the beautiful hues of the sunset and smell the fresh air after a delicate shower of rain. There’s a couple holding hands, so obviously in love. These are things that cannot be explained by science to me. Science may be able to tell me the exact chemical component which makes grass green, but it can never tell me why it is destined to be green and not red. Science is hard at work, full throttle, trying to figure out the complexities of life that have already been created, of happenings of the past. We are on this great search to find the answers, yet, “behold, we know not anything” (Tennyson LIV). And we will never know. That is why I think that it is completely meaningless to judge people, argue, fight, and end friendships over the question of religion and science. None of us really know, so why do we judge, argue, fight, end friendships over arguments in which we really don’t know what we’re talking about. Every being is entitled to its thoughts and opinions. We should all live by what resonates with us.

As for myself, too many perfect “coincidental” occurrences have happened for me to not believe. And so I can’t help but “stretch lame hands of faith, and grope and gather dust and chaff, and call to what I feel is Lord of all, and faintly trust the larger hope” (Tennyson LV).

I HAVE FAITH IN GOD THAT EVERYTHING WILL BE TAKEN CARE OF AND WILL BE GOOD IN THE END.

It's more than the bare necessities - we want to be king

Not this...




It's all about this...




Human beings are obsessed with success. There is no other way I can think to put it. Look at Hollywood: it is an industry filled with beautiful, rich, people, surrounded by the glitz and glam we think they ought to deserve. I sometimes feel rather sorry for celebrities; poor things have to make sure they have the perfect body, don’t say anything the slightest bit politically incorrect. We exploit every single aspect of their lives just so we can catch a glimpse of how a “successful” person wakes up and gets coffee or goes shopping. It’s not an obsession that is just American. There are tabloids all over the world…and there’s a reason that they’re all still in business.

In the deepest corner of the labyrinth of our minds, I think everybody has at least the slightest desire to have it all. We all want the money, the stunning good looks, the dream home and perfect family. “Because the condition of the race is better…than it has been with any other,” (Carnegie 396) we are far past the stereotypical Darwinian search for success. We have no need to worry for our lives as a squirrel scampering across a busy street should. While I agree that, “an instinct has been slowly developed among animals and men in the course of an extremely long evolution…[that] they can borrow from the practice of mutual aid and support, and the joys they can find in social life,” (Kropotkin 400) I believe there is still a large difference between humans and other animals. Animals seem to have a more singular goal of survival in life. They need to be fed, sheltered and protected from predators, which animals within species will many times help each other out with, as
in the so called practice of “Mutual Aid and Mutual support” (Kropotkin 399). Success for an animal would be to survive long enough to reproduce and make sure the species is sustained. Humans, on the other hand, are mostly able to survive just fine and thus strive to be much more than just a surviving animal. Humans “have evolved by natural selection” (Wilson 409) so that they experience more emotions than animals do, including greed, and jealousy, a greater sense of ownership, and also a better functioning moral compass. (I’m not claiming to know how animals think and feel. I’m just assuming based on observation.) We don’t just want to survive; we want to thrive.

We often compare unethical behavior – cheating, stealing, thrashing – with animalistic behavior. The animal kingdom is a brutal place of “survival of the fittest.” Animals will do whatever is necessary do survive. A tiger will sneak up on a baby gazelle when hungry; it is built to do that. In the same way, unethical conduct in the human world arises whenever we feel our ability to either/both survive and thrive are endangered. Take a look at Africa. It is a land ravaged by disease, lack of water and food. Surviving is hard. We become “true animals” when that happens – Africa is a place where some of the most violence on Earth occurs. There is constant raping, stealing, killing and genocide. That is a case of simply trying to live.

However, “we are not just talking about behavior, but about social behavior” (Ruse and Wilson, 509). Why does a company exec steal millions of dollars or does somebody spread rumors about another? Once survival is taken care of, the mind quickly latches onto the idea of thriving socially. Thus, when we feel socially endangered, the unethical, animalistic behavior resumes as the claws are unsheathed for a catfight.

I feel that humans are socialized and cultured to act with good morals. It is only when the going gets tough that we get our tough going.

The Chronicles of an (Almost) Unfixable Website

It seems like this project was assigned with this song in mind.

Gives You Hell - The All-American Rejects
I don’t even know where to begin. This website and I have had a very lengthy battle.

Since Professor Bump very highly recommended Dreamweaver or iWeb, I, having read the instructions multiple times, opted for the option which was most possible for me. Skaggs very graciously got me a copy of the program on my computer and gave me a quick tutorial. Too bad Dreamweaver required way more than a quick tutorial. Reading tutorial upon tutorial on the internet and watching video upon video, we (Mary and I) got very frustrated after all we could do was change the color of the site background. So we visited Professor Bump, and I didn’t understand much besides that Dreamweaver is very complicated. That’s probably my fault with all of my computer illiteracy.

Lesson number 1: Computer programs don’t really come with instructions.

And then the knight in shining armor came through.  Dana, of course, figured out a much less complicated way to make the website by using Microsoft Publisher. She was the first one done, and she did it without any specific directions that explained how to use Publisher. Dana showed us how to use it in just a few minutes (that’s all that we needed). And so, we gradually figured out how to maneuver through and use Publisher. All was fine and dandy and the website was turned in.

Lesson number two: Looks are deceiving

A few weeks into break I get an email saying that my portfolio doesn’t work. Just mine. It made no sense because one page of it did work, and all the other people who had used Publisher’s worked. But not mine. No idea why. So, juggling a full time job, seeing friends who I see once every 3 months, the holidays, and spending lots of family time with an uncle who sadly passed away over the break, I spent a little time everyday trying to fix the darn website. I tried everything that I knew how to do: de-linked, re-linked, googled for answers, made a new portfolio, and had a lovely email chain going with Bump. Nothing worked.

There were no instructions out there. There was nothing to read, nothing to follow. Yes, many times we choose to not read instructions and directions because they are at times long and excessive. Sometimes they are so dumbed down and painstakingly specific that it takes ages to get to the issue which you were concerned with. At that point, you could have figured it out by yourself much quicker. Other times, there’s the opposite problem, where there are gaps in the instructions which leave out crucial information that a beginner would need to know, or the language used is too jargon-like to make enough sense.

Lesson number 3: Innovation is key

There were no instructions that told me, if all else fails, linking images would be the way to make the website finally work…on January 8th!?!

With that in mind, it is true that I wanted answers and quick fixes. I know there can’t be instructions to every little thing. Life doesn’t come with an instruction manual, right? Today’s generation is in the age of technology, speed, skill – and knowledge. We need to be able to know how to do things quickly; we need to be able
to solve a problem with our own critical thinking skills. We’ve been brought up with the mentality that we are the generation of change: the world is filled with a myriad of problems that rest on our shoulder to be fixed in innovative ways. Thus, I think it is in the nature of our generation to skip over the instructions and try to think for ourselves. How else are those skills going to be built? And with efficiency in mind, what is the point in wasting time with instructions that aren’t going to help much anyways? It’s all about that Discovery learning.







Don't get me wrong: instructions are great. It's nice have that comfort of knowing exactly what to do and how to do it. Though it's a only a comfort when the instructions are clear and relevant. I think it's way too dramatic to say as a generation, the rule is, "Instructions must die" (Krug 2006, P46). It's only the instructions that don't make sense which should die.

My apologies if this is whiny. This project succeeded in giving me hell.