Compassion it is.

I know it's super cheesy and second grade, but what better song is there to illustrate comradeship and compassion?



In my mind, between ‘Survival of the fittest’ and ‘Compassion,’ there is no competition as to which is the clear winner. But then, there are also many definitions and concepts of what winning encompasses. To me, winning does not necessarily mean “pushing [your] way to the front”(Hardy 254). Winning is a battle of the individual. It is a struggle to see how far one can push themselves, how much can be learned. It is a battle of self-improvement, because in the end, I think that is what really matters. Winning is a measure of compassion. Therefore, it is imperative to look at competition and survival in the life scheme.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying winning awards and competitions is a bad thing. But it should not be life-crushing, as it was to Jude when he could not study at the University, if it was “not [your] will that consented to be beaten” (Hardy 254). If you worked diligently, according to good morals and gave your best effort, there is much knowledge that you gained which can be used constructively in your life. Going through the pains of learning, perfecting and competing teaches strength. Isn’t it strength that is necessary to win? One of my – and the whole world’s – idol’s Mahatma Ghandi illustrated this to everybody. Ghandiji acted in complete ahimsa (non-violence). He competed against no one, not even the British occupying his country. Ghandiji boycotted salt and marched barefoot hundreds of miles to get native salt. After he went on a food strike, he had no physical strength at all – he was probably very near death. However, because he lived according to what he believed in, Ghandiji was able to lead a country to independence. He had moral strength and gained the strength of a country. Thus, they could together be productive in a distressing situation. Similarly, I believe Jude could have made lemonade out of his lemons, had he not been so caught up in his goal of being the disadvantaged man who was going to make it to the University. He himself says, “It takes two or three generation to do what I tried to do in one” (Hardy 256). Jude should have realized that his goal was slightly unrealistic, but that he could still live by his values of loving learning. He could have started passing on his torch of knowledge to young Jude (or Father Time?) who would have been advantaged by being brought up in such an environment of learning. Therefore, if only Jude had had enough compassion, he would have eventually won.

There was a sweet little story (yes, there are plenty of loopholes in it) we were always told at my Sunday School to “illustrate a moral story” (Hardy 256) of compassion: There are people gathered around a dinner table upon which is a feast, piled high. However,
because of (insert silly reason..maybe their funny bones were broken?) none of the people could bend their arms, and thus could not eat. Try as they might, there was nothing they could do to make the savory food sudden teleport to their mouths. They dejectedly sat, ravenously eyeing the food, most of them on the verge of tears. This was how they were to eat for the whole next week: it was a question of survival. However, as the dinner party was beginning to explode in hysteria, a young child had a bright idea. They could all feed each other!

This story demonstrates the many advantages to compassion. Even in a question of survival – everybody needs food and is looking out for themselves – the only way to win is by helping another. If you don’t feed anybody, nobody is going to feed you.

Building on new dreams.

As a little kid, I always knew that college was the place to go after high school; it was just a matter of figuring out exactly what college was. Heck, I didn’t even realize the confusion that high school would ensue. So many classes! Block Scheduling?? Freshman Initiation?!?

Then, just as high school was beginning to make sense, the college visits arrived during sophomore year. My sister, a year older school-wise, was starting her journey through the
Great College Search and I figured it made sense to go ahead and get a head start on mine. Looking back upon those days, I realize what a romantic view of college I had. Not just in the sense that campuses would be swarming with pretty college boys, but that it would be all fun and games, only rainbows and butterflies. College was supposed to be a whole great crazy adventure. “It is what you may call a castle” (Hardy 23). My college castle was going to be filled with kings, queens, knights in armor, and court games. I didn’t realize how much work it would take to even get into college. I was a high school sophomore who hadn’t even taken an AP “college level” class before– what did I know? However, it wasn’t long before “the whole scheme burst up, like an iridescent soap bubble” (Hardy 94).

By the time junior year hit, high school was a lot of work. I don’t quite have the brilliance that just oozes out of most of the Plan II kids – while alot of people I've talked to can laugh about the joke their high school years were, I worked my butt off. When it wasn’t homework, band successfully sucked away any semblance of a life I might have had. Don’t get me wrong: band brought great memories, experiences and best friends that I will cherish forever, and the schoolwork gave me results to be proud of – but was it really worth all those times I turned down hanging out with friends to instead cuddle with books?

My college visits throughout sophomore year and the summer that followed filled me with ambition to end up in one of those legendary colleges. I became determined to make sure my dreaded bonding time with the books was not all done in vain. I wanted a place with a name and a face to impress (as long as it was sunny and warm). Some place mysterious and far away. Some place like Stanford, WashU or USC that would bring ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’. Some place that was known by all as “a citadel of enlightenment” (X639).Good thing that’s not what college is about. I, like Jude, “found [my]self clinging to the hope” (Hardy 93) that I could go to a fascinating out of state school. I desperately even enrolled in one, and still get heart-wrenching mail from them, to this day. However, I am glad that like Jude, I also “awoke from [my] dream” (Hardy 94).

As I “progress into adulthood and try to choose [my] lives” (DB no.1), I could not be more thankful for this wonderful place I now call home. This place is definitely worth it. With Plan II, we obviously get our intensive education. But from this place, we learn so much more than we would have from an exclusive, gated-in community in some other part of the country. In Austin, we learn to truly thrive. We have such a lively city staring us in the face – we learn to balance the books and the fun. I cannot help feel, with my burnt orange blood, that this wonderland we are in will shape us into some of the most able, passionate people in the world.

Alice in my land..

My initial opinion after my superficial first read of Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass: Lewis Carroll was crazy. Well, either crazy, or on drugs.

On the other hand, the footnotes convinced me that the man was pretty darn brilliant. The connections and references he made are unparalleled: footnote one of chapter two says “when Alice addressed her right foot as ‘Esquire,’ Carroll may have intended a subtle English/French joke. The French word for ‘foot’ is pied. Its gender is masculine regardless of the owner’s sex.” But, because the connections are so far-fetched, I wonder if those were truly what Carroll intended, or if they’re really just a bunch of Alice-enthusiasts just reading into the story way too deeply. However, all tangential questions aside, the crazy-brilliant Lewis Carroll created a story that very sharply parallels the journey into and through college.

Of course, the parallel begins right in the beginning when Alice first spots the White Rabbit in her dream-like state and makes the rashly adventurous decision to follow him. She very much reflects our own decisions about making the choice to attend college. Just like her, I think most of us lived our lives so far with a general sense of security (dream-like state), knowing that college was in our future. So without really thinking about it, I know that I jumped on the bandwagon and decided to chase after my White Rabbit dream of attending college, knowing little as to what I was up for. Continuing on that parallel, the Rabbit Hole is obviously our actual matriculation into college. It is after this point, when almost every single thing that happens can viably be compared to our lives, which makes me really respect Carroll. He was particularly good at capturing human emotions and reactions to situations.

In my mind, I see Alice’s fall down the Rabbit Hole as equivalent to our first week of living here, with all of the club fairs like Party at the Plaza, and opening weekend
parties: we had “plenty of time as [we] went down to look about [us]…here and there [we] saw maps and pictures..”(pg 13). There was so much to do, all the clubs were recruiting; it felt like we could see all the choices and snapshots of fun as we were falling down the College Hole. On a more negative note, while we were falling down the hole, it also felt like we had to impress everybody, just as Alice cannot control the impulse to take advantage of the “ very good opportunity for showing off her knowledge” (pg 13).

Then, just as Alice thuds to a halt at the bottom of the Rabbit Hole, we are hit with the reality and confusion that personifies college. Frantically we try to find our place in the new world, trying to open all the locked doors with the keys of ourselves. We use what knowledge we’re already accumulated, “the simple rules [our] friends had taught” (pg 17) as we keep trying adjust our persona (Alice’s growing and shrinking) all in attempts to fit through the proper door which leads to the garden of friends, the right organizations and good grades. Sometimes, we get a little overwhelmed by all the new situations and frustrations we keep coming upon. Just like Alice, we become disoriented with who we are and cry ourselves into an ocean. After she goes through all the absurdities of the Caucus race, fetching the Rabbit’s gloves, and dealing with the Duchess and the Pig does she eventually get a hang on how to act in the crazy world of Wonderland.

I could go on and on about how Alice’s story is so richly related to our lives right now, but I’ll spare you the pain. There are a few underlying themes which are significant in our lives that have also been portrayed as such in Alice’s journey.

One of the most memorable moments in the Alice novels is when she encounters the Caterpillar on the mushroom who interrogates her, asking “Who are you?” (pg 48). At this moment, begins Alice’s quest to figure out and create her new self. Just like Alice, this sudden responsibility has been thrust upon us: we need to figure out our majors, our morals, our passions. This is the first time we have had to independently think about these topics and be free from influence at home. But also, we now bear the burden of acting wisely, or otherwise living with the consequences. Thus, we truly start this wonderful journey of college – a time of plenty of self-discovery.

In Through the Looking Glass, we encounter an Alice who has matured significantly – a maturing that is anticipated from us as well. Instead of abruptly assuming her own conclusions, Alice questions out of pure curiosity, so she can genuinely know. She asks Humpty Dumpty, “Would you tell me, please, what that means?” (pg 213). This questioning captures the very essence of what is expected from us – Plan II “will make learning an essential part of [our] life plans” (X343I). In a few years, that will hopefully be us. Learning for the sake of learning. Learning without any fear of making a Humpty Dumpty angry.

Thus by reading about Alice’s seemingly nonsensical journey, we’ve gained a role model who has already been through all the chaos. We are reassured that there is meaning behind all the craziness we are going through, and that soon enough, the results will shine through.

Future's Garden

It is serene. The water sweetly babbles as it cascades down the rocks. The vivid aroma is intoxicating – honeysuckle, jasmine, lavender, gardenia. Birds are nonchalantly twittering away. A delicate wrought iron fence borders the picturesque garden, and is offset by an acutely majestic room. A latticed pattern of entwined tree branches shades the pathway leading to a quaint, white gazebo. As the ghost of today tiptoes smoothly down future’s path, it comes across a pair of companions – a healer and a patient. Between murmurs of conversation, they just sit; sit as they listen and breathe in Mother Earth’s music which is enveloping them.

Hold on. Let’s rewind. Go back in time, thirty maybe forty years, until we arrive at the present. Right now, this is my dream: to be part of a music therapy clinic in which music in the traditional sense and the music of the world around us are used to heal. Semiotics. Yes, it all sounds like a song of hippie naïveté from any realistic point of view. To find a music therapy clinic will be hard enough. But to find one like the one of my dreams sounds nearly impossible. How to prepare myself for this is a question in itself. With what I am presently picturing in my mind, I am pretty sure I will need a landscape architecture degree alongside one in music therapy. Yet, here I am at an institution which does not even offer a degree in music therapy. I openly take every bit of blame, for it was my belated interest in music therapy which resulted in this conundrum. However, I have no regrets, because I now know that the education I am getting at the University of Texas is preparing me to be a leader with a vision. I will not need to find a music therapy clinic which mirrors my dreams; I will create the clinic of my dreams.

In all honesty, am I even preparing to become a music therapist? That is the thing: I’m not. As it is, music therapy is such a small field. It is a very rare thing to learn, so to speak. Therefore, I will have to make good use of the leadership qualities I am learning at UT. Being a leader, being a pioneer, requires an endless list of qualities and skills. Leaders are the many faceted gems in the mosaic. And like gems, while they may shine brilliantly in every different shade inside a Crayola box, they all have the same basic structure. I believe one of the most basic qualities that all leaders have is the ability to fully take advantage of what the circumstances provide, no matter how much or how little. Good leaders have “the power to transform situations.”1 In that spirit, I plan on learning the most I can from the University and the people around me.

While my classes will not ultimately prepare me for my actual job, they teach not only the obvious basic knowledge I need, but they at least indirectly teach the leadership qualities I hope to acquire. So far, I am in classes which I technically chose to be in. However, truth be told, I would probably never take a class entitled “Punishment in a Liberal Society” and especially not “Reading and Composition in World Literature” (no offense) were I not forced to. But that is the beauty of Plan II. Requiring classes is the only way to forcibly mold our minds into new ways of thinking.

From this eclectic harvest of classes, I feel like I am learning important life lessons. Astronomy, one of my favorites, is possibly the most random class that really has nothing to do with either of my majors of Plan II or Psychology. However, it reminds me to always keep my sense of wonder and that we never know what is out there, waiting to be discovered. Through astronomy and the mind-blowing discoveries it entails, I will learn to keep my mind open to new, unimaginable findings in music therapy. Also, even though Punishment in a Liberal Society and World Literature embody what I most fear and despise (writing), I feel those are the two classes which push me the most to become a leader. In Punishment, a discussion-based class with occasional ten-page papers, I’ve learned the necessity of cementing my thoughts and opinions: figuring out my morals and what I stand for. Plus, after listening week upon week, mouth gaping in awe, to a student with the most enchanting oratory skills I have ever heard, I come to realize the tremendous advantages of superior communication skills. Just being able to speak and articulate thoughts clearly, commands attention. Similarly, a therapist must be able to communicate their thoughts and convey the correct message to their patients. Last but not least, this class, of course, forces me to think about my passion, my future and my vision – the basis of being a leader. For me, it is truly difficult because I now cannot just get by with b.s.ing some random analysis. We truly have to reach within ourselves and write from the heart. Doing all of the writing disciplines me by teaching me to do what I have to, and also improving my communication skills. Overall, I know that all of the classes I take at the University, even physics, will be relevant to my future by either teaching necessary skills or by building character.

Furthermore, there are certain qualities a therapist must impart which I do not think can be taught, but must be picked up. They are personality qualities like empathy, motivation and inspiration. One of my role models who embodies these qualities is my band director from high school, Mr. Koch. He is a essentially a community leader. Literally hundreds of people look up to him; even students from 30 years before keep in touch with him and get advice. The man who deals with 350 students, the logistics of 6 bands, and the ever-ready onslaught of band parents every year, still manages to know everybody’s names, and remember the important things in all of their lives. He is such a ridiculously busy man, but always has time to talk and to listen. During those four years, I knew I could always drop by and talk to him, and he would devote his full attention to the conversation. While Mr. Koch was great as a people person, he was even better in motivating and inspiring huge groups of students. When it was 105 degrees outside at competition and we were all ready to melt to the ground, he understood us and knew exactly what to say to encourage us to do our best. I hope to one day be as inspirational and looked up to as he is.

Finally, I feel one of the most imperative leadership qualities is spirituality: it is a must for a leader to be in touch with the person inside. On that note, I plan on visiting a therapist at the Student Services Building. It is true one of the paramount reasons which compels me to do so is that I will gain a perspective only gained by experience. The best way to have empathy is to actually know what it feels like to work up the courage to make a visit, to know what it feels like sitting all alone in that chair, waiting for someone to analyze you. I want to observe and learn from the therapist to see how they work. I want to gather a general idea of how therapy works. Yet moreover, I hope therapy will help me grow as a person – teach me to accept who I am and to accept my mistakes. As the saying goes, “A sick doctor cannot heal.” Therefore, before I can even consider the dive of working the field of therapy, I must also be completely intact. The only way to transfer confidence is to have enough in the first place; the Sun cannot
radiate heat if it doesn’t have any inside. So through therapy I will strengthen learn to radiate the qualities I hold inside. In addition, I will put to practice the meditation techniques I learned at my temple. As Ram Dass prescribes, meditation leads to intuitive awareness “that links us most intimately to the universe and, in allegiance with the heart, binds us together in generosity and compassion.”2

By soaking in the lessons I am being taught in my classes, I will continue discipline myself but stretch my mind. By emulating all the leaders around me I will learn how to bring out the best in people. By strengthening my spirituality, I will continue my journey of self-exploration and in the end, hopefully forge my way down that pathway to the quaint white gazebo .

"You're my hero!"

I’m not going to lie: I am one of those. You know, one of those girls whose way of thanking people is by saying something along the lines of, “Ohmygosh! You’re my hero!”

I know, I know. So shallow.

In my defense, I don’t say it that often. But just because someone does
a nice deed to help me, I declare them my hero? In that case, I should have at least a good 50 heroes. Too bad I can’t even remember more than 5 of them.

I feel kind of like I am degrading the meaning of a beautiful, sacred word. Sincerity is best maintained by moderation. My frequent use of ‘hero’ takes away the novelty and prestige of the word. And I don’t think it’s only me.

Heroes are an integral part of our culture. As proved by Dana, usually the first heroes who come to mind are the super ones. Superman, Spiderman, Captain Planet, Ironman, The Green Lantern, Catwoman, Batman, The Ninja Turtles. The list goes on and on. You don’t even have to have seen a comic book to know who they are (me being the living proof). Throughout our childhoods (some of us even a bit longer :P), most of us came to idolize these characters or others with similar qualities. Whether they be a superhero or little Lambchop they were oh so dear to us. Though many times mere animated figures flitting across a glass screen, we knew “their names and faces, their words…their values and standards” (X947).

And then we grew up. We learned how to read, we watched more movies, we played video games. Especially in the beginner stages of reading, it seemed like most of the stories had good guy /bad guy motives; in the end, a Prince Charming of a hero comes and saves the day. Even ancient Greek dramas were filled with tragic heroes, but heroes nonetheless. Of course most Hollywood productions appeal to that kid-ish side of us, putting reality in a back seat, and giving us a dreary story and a cheery ending. We all grew up wanting to be the Marios to destroy the Bowsers, the James Bonds to save the world. Hmm...”good job of preparing us to meet the world” (X985)?!?

However cynical my view of heroes seems, I swear it’s not. I actually believe that our culture leads us to drown ourselves in floods of heroes, not only because it is human nature to want to be surrounded by and hear of greatness, but because there is actually a little piece of hero inside all of us. I think that is the reason I’ve told so many people that they were my hero. When our world is experiencing economic turmoil, global
warming, rising cancer rates, and disharmony between multiple cultures, people’s inherent goodness and amazing capabilities are always pleasant reminders that there is hope in the world.

It is not only a few people who have an inherent goodness and amazing capabilities; I think each and every one of us is capable of being absolutely stunning at something. We just have to persevere and persist. I’ve come to realize that the people I idolize, I do so because they are so great at what they do. I’ve also come to realize they are the product of talent, but combined with incredible amounts of hard work. When I was at a John Mayer concert a couple of months ago, I, of course, decided that he was a new god after being mesmerized by his nearly impeccable skill. But the biggest inspiration for me was when he told us (the crowd) about how he really was a dork in high school and achieved his dream by practicing guitar for 6 hours a day. He “freely admit[ed] that it takes preparation and hard work” (X85). He set a goal and never looked back. One thing he said that I loved was how he wasn’t being overconfident or cocky when deciding he was going to be famous one day, but that he was merely “cocooning [himself] in positivity.”

The University is covered in the faded footsteps of its own John Mayers who have also surrounded themselves in positivity. It is incredible to think what has been accomplished. “How did a small town boy” (X988) like Red McCombs give “$50 million to the University’s Business School” (X988)? How in the world did Américo Paredes graduate “summa cum laude with a bachelor’s degree in English and philosophy within a single year” (X993)? All of these everyday people managed to climb to the greatest ladders of success and become hero material. How did they do it? Just by hard work, determinism, a positive attitude and possibly a little bit of luck.

So, I think I am going to keep telling people that they are my hero. Because they are. We all are. There is something inside all of us which has the ability to fulfill our superhero powers. Every moment our human superhero powers shine through is quite an inspirational moment. Thus, I figure I’ll keep encouraging people by reminding them of how great they truly are – remind them what could lie ahead. Remind them of Alan Bean’s resounding conclusion: “I began to put our more effort and do more, and maybe that’s the story of my life. Because now I realize that you can do what you want to” (X977).