"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.."

As I walked discontentedly out of my Psychology class today, I couldn't help but wonder why we subjected ourselves to this strange form of torture called college. I had studied hours for this epic moment of The First College Test, only to be faced with utter befuddlement when attempting to answer a good portion of the questions.

What I felt like after my test...

'Oh gosh! Four more whole years of this???' The question permeated my thoughts like the endless art of a dog chasing its tail. Like Russ said yesterday during the discussion, you could technically be successful without college. For a while there, this new endeavor came to seem completely pointless.

But that's the beauty of college. Keywords: "For a while". It's an experience that completely shakes up life, twists it and turns it upside down. You can't be mad at it for too long, since actually, now, it is life.

So what is this new path we are going down? And where the heck is it taking us?

No idea? It's okay.--"You are actually in a situation where no one knows the answers" (Varnum, 343G).

...

Yeah, I didn't think it was much help either.


C-o-l-l-e-g-e. Perhaps a 4th grade spelling word.
U-n-i-v-e-r-s-i-t-y. Maybe you get to that in 5th grade.
We've heard about these mysterious places all our lives. Most of us, I think, have known all our lives we were going to end up at one of the two. Yet when we were younger it seemed so much simpler. I knew I wanted to be an astronaut. And a long-armed graceful figure skater (too bad it snows one day every 25 years). Or an archeologist/architect/interior designer. And astronomer. Boy, those were the days of dreams.

DREAMS

But wait, aren't these the days we were supposed to pursue those dreams? We were. And we DO. Maybe we come to an institution of higher learning to figure out how to properly juggle our dreams with reality. Hopefully in four years (or five or six for you poor over-achievers :P) we will come to agree that here, dreams and reality "complete, correct and balance each other" (Newman 308). Hopefully, we will come to understand what is best for the future, but at the same time what is best for ourselves.

And even more so, that is the beauty of this life. No one knows the answer to this conundrum we are in becuase it is absolutely, entirely our own to figure out. It would never be right if someone did try to give you an answer. Every single person has a pristinely authentic experience- no two are ever the same. Therefore, "This is your 'experience', and from this seemingly shapeless, yet entirely individual source, you will derive whatever it is you have to say" (Varnum 343G).

I look forward to these years as a time to learn about myself, my dreams, my limits, but that can't be done without "a little help from my friends" (The Beatles). When my family was helping my sister and I move in to our dorms, my mom, who had to work multiple jobs throughout college, wistfully thought out loud, "This would be so much fun- being surrounded by so many people of your age, just like you." This simple thought is one that has resonated with me since. I could not be more grateful for the wonderful group of peers with whom I have been thrust into this 'Rabbit Hole.' It is most humbling and inspiring at the same time, that life, now consists of being in these classes and new adventures (and hurdles) with all of you. I'm glad that we've already learned to "repect, to consult, to aid each other" (Newman 309). (Haha, thanks to those who reminded me this was due today).

While I can't even start to answer where I am going or where this path is leading, I know I have come to a place to learn that. A time and place like no other in the world, where the ultimate flow of knowledge, and bondage takes place-- a little star burning brightly in the Universe, holding the essense of life.

And, if ever "a large blue caterpillar..quitely smoking a long hookah (Carrol 46)" interrogated me, I could only hope to bust out with Dickens' timeless adage "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of windom, it was the age of foolishness.." (190)

And now, I think it's Time. Psych grade, here I come.
Darn. Not posted yet; but for some reason, I'm not dreading it too much anymore. :)